1.Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

2.Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

3.Dementia — I Think I’ll be Home for Christmas

4.Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing About Me

5.Manic — Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

6.Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

7.Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

8.Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

9.Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent night, Holy oooh look at the froggy – can I have a chocolate, why is France so far away?

10.Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,
Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle
Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells,

O COME ALL YE PERVERTS

O come all ye perverts
Come and have an orgy
O come ye, o cum ye
In brothels galore
Come and get plastered
And let’s find some ho-girls
O come let us enjoy them
O come let us enjoy them
O come let us enjoy them
In brothels galore

DECK MY BALLS (the classic)
(Back to Top)

Deck my balls with boughs of holly,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

Tap the keg, inflate the dolly,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

Don we now our rubber panties,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

We’re a bunch of twisted Santies,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

Naughty girls are such a treasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

These North Poles were made for pleasure,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

Fucked the elves, fucked all the reindeer,
Fa la la la la, la la la.

Fuck the cookies, bring us COLD BEER!
Fa la la la la, la la la.

SANTA IS INVADING YOUR TOWN
You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I’m telling you why
Santa is invading your town
He see you when you’re naked
And when you’re smoking pot
And when you’re masturbating
Ev’n when you cop a squat, so:
You better break out
The Bourbon and Rye
Tequila and Gin
I’m telling you why
Santa is invading your town

(Sung to Jingle Bells):

Christmas bills, Christmas bills
Piled on the floor.
Everyday the postman came and brought a dozen more.

Oh……

Christmas bills, Christmas bills
Making me lament
I’ve got my back against the wall
From all those gifts I sent

Writing out the checks
All in great amounts
Sending them today
Knowing they will bounce!
Bill collectors come
Notify my boss
Now they’ve got my salary
My life’s a total loss!

Oh……

Christmas Bills, Christmas bills
Piled on the floor.
Everyday the postman came and brought a dozen more.

Christmas bills, Christmas bills
How the stores will swear
When they soon discover that
My bank account is bare!

(finally it ends with some verse about doing it all again next year

Oh, little Bank of tsb
You bring me Christmas Cheer
Without your clout
I have no doubt
No gifts I’d give this year.
Your credit line allows me
To run up bills quite large
And when I’m through
Exhausting you
I’ll use my Master Card
(Same tune, sung in late February)

Oh, little Bank of tsb
You bring me discontent
I calculate
Your int’rest rate
Is over (twelve) percent.
Each month, your cry for payments
My letter-box bombards;
I’m one more sap
Caught in your trap
Next year I’ll just send cards.

im not a lover of xmas prefering to get away and have been known to actually fly out somewhere anywhere even on xmas day to avoid the christmas cheer
these are my favorite xmas songs

(To The Tune Of “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town”)

Oh you better not shout,
You better not cry,
You better not pout,
I’m tellin’ you why;

Daddy’s home and I think he’s drunk.

He’s walkin’ real slow,
He slurs when he speaks,
I don’t even think
He’s shaved in two weeks,

Daddy’s home and boy is he drunk.

He spent most of our money
On Johnny Walker Black
And then he took all of the rest
And lost it at the track.

Sooo…. You better not pout,
You better not cry,
I don’t like that look in his eye,
Daddy’s home and I think he’s…
Daddy’s home and boy is he…

Daddy’s home and he’s really drun

FROSTY THE COKEHEAD
Frosty the cokehead was a crazed neurotic soul,
With a big glass pipe and a vial of crack,
And no sense of self control.
There must have been some poison in that last dime bag he got,
For when he took his first big hit he dropped dead on the spot.
Frosty the cokehead doesn’t worry anymore,
Cuz when all is said, and your cold and dead,
Then you never have to score.
——————————————————————————–

O COME ALL YE PERVERTS
(Back to Top)

Well xmas is almost year so i thought i would add a few of my own special carols just to cheer you all up

Please dont ask me to sing them to you when you come and see me as a refusal often offends or it would be charge as an extra
Happy Christmas all

love and kisse Paris