I bought an iphone ages ago on contract . Then last year when on holiday it got soaked when i had it in my bag on the beach and a freak wave hit the sunlounger where i was sat and drenched not only my bag but everthing that was in it including my iphone ( why i took it to the beach i dont know -not like im going to get an important phone call when im sunbathing but there you go)
Sadly water and iphones do not mix – and i really mean they do not mix my friend dropped her iphone in a patch of snow recently and its fucked
I mean its totally crap really when you think about it – i have dropped a nokia in a glass of coke and managed to dry it out and it worked fine after a few days of intense drying it out and im sure most of us have done similar if not as stupid things with there phones and liquids and normally they can be repaired .
But an Iphones no way – slightest bit of water and they are so fucked – rendered totally useless and they have this nasty little sensor in the phone as well which turns red or pink if there has been any contact with water
If you try to lie and say that you did not get it wet or dropped it on snow or in a glass of coke the people at Apple will know you are lying…. Not that i would do that of course
Apple kndly offered me a replacement refurbished phone at the cost of 150 pounds. At the time i had more than six months left on my contract so though i better do this otherwise i wont have a phone but would still be paying for it
Unfortunatly these phones only come with a 3 month warranty and yes you guessed it my iphone has microphone has packed up So although i can hear people if they call me but they cant hear me – its really fucking annoying the only way it will work is for me to use a headset with a microphone or to use a earpiece which i hate and always bloody lose (earpieces get all tangled up in my hair and i cant bloody get them out) and to top it off just before this happend i requested my unlock code for for iphone and i just got it today and the phone is knackered .
luckily my contract is up though next week and i can cancle it Im not going to bother with another iphone as i just think that although they are pretty nifty they are to sensitve for someone as clumsy as me to keep so im just going to keep my iphone as an nice ipod that can take pictures with and maybe use it just for the net and some texting if i put a sim card in it …. see im still bloody addicted to it even though its broke …….

as a lot of you know im a real bookworm I love reading and have thousands of books -slowly running out of space – but the most frustrating thing that i find is when i go on holiday is taking books with me
I tend to take a lot of my favorite books and then end up leaving them in the hotel room as i can be bothered to bring them back with me but once i get back i want to re-read them so i end up buying them again ?????
I have done this so many times over the years that i decided to buy an E Reader recently as i thought that this would solve this problem for me
Well so far its been interesting – it hasnt stopped me from still buying lots of books as i actually like sitting down and reading books and a far as im concerned you cant beat that , but its made travelling a lot easier for me and my extra suitcase of books that i normally travel with
Once you actaully figure out how it all works how to download books and transfer them its actually quiet good so far i have around 15 books downloaded but as it can hold 350 and a couple of thousand more if i buy a memory card i have a long way to go
Only thing is that the ebooks are only about a pound cheaper than the paperbacks which i think is a total con to be honest and i think that they should be like about 2pounds or less but thats just me

My thoughts this week ……..
thinking about my friend getting married made me think about some funny quotes that i have heard over the years and these are my favorite ones

When you meet someone who can cook and do housework–don’t hesitate a minute–marry him.

Men are like pumpkins. It seems like all the good ones are either taken or they’ve had everything scraped out of their heads with a spoon

“There are easier things in life than trying to find a nice guy…like nailing jelly to a tree for example”

I just broke up with someone and the last thing she said to me was “You’ll never find anyone like me again!” I’m thinking, “I should hope not! If I don’t want you, why would I want someone like you

“True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they’ve gotta match

“No matter how good she looks – no matter how sweet she talks – somebody, somewhere is sick and tired of putting up with her shit.”

The quickest way to know a woman is to go shopping with her

“There’s a little bit of hooker in every woman. A little bit of hooker and a little bit of God.”

“It takes a thoroughly good woman to do a thoroughly stupid thing”
Oscar Wilde

“Why haven’t women got labels on their foreheads saying, “Danger: Government Health Warning: Women can be dangerous to your brains, genitals, current account, confidence, razor blades and good standing among your friends

I CANT THINK OF ANYTHING TO ADD TO THIS
“The woman who appeals to a man’s vanity may stimulate him, the woman who appeals to his heart may attract him, but it is the woman who appeals to his imagination who gets him”
Helen Rowland quotes (English-American writer, 1876-1950)

ACTUALLY SHE IS CALLED A PROSTITUTE
“The woman who tells her age is either too young to have anything to lose or too old to have anything to gain”

LOST COUNT OF THE NUMBER OF MEN I HAVE TRIED TO CHANGE AND AND DONT LIKE
“Most women set out to try to change a man, and when they have changed him they don’t like him.”
Marlene Dietrich

I read somewhere that Marriage is like a hot bath. Once you get used to it, it’s not so hot.

I went to a wedding last year where the matron of honour was the wife of the brides ex fiance – confused yeah i was just a plus 1 invite So it took me the wedding the reception and the following day to work that one out – the matron of honour was also pregnant Can you say: awkward or do some people have no tact I wasnt the only one confused by this I wonder if they have group sex of somthing ???

I have been invited or should i say forced to be a bridesmaid at my friends wedding (do not laugh) My normally sane and reasonable friend Abby is getting married this year and i have to be a bridesmaid actually she asked me to be matron of honour but i declined . No Fucking Way Dont the MOH have to fuck the best man – well i know who the best man is going to be and i may be a hooker but i have standards so no fucking way am I being matron of honor I will be a bridesmaid under duress but not matron of honour. So the matron of honour is going to Abbys sister in law to be Camilla
This is going to be the marriage /wedding from hell if the party that i went to recently is anything to go buy Abby is the sort of girl who wants /demands everthing perfect this is her big day and no one is going to spoil it even if it means upsetting everybody else she has planned this wedding for her entire life practicising with barbie and ken so she know exactly how its going to be.
First of all, lets just say that I’m not a fan of weddings. Just the thinking of planning a wedding and trying to work out if colour schemes match and placements and who to invite and not to invite gives me nightmares on the scale of Freddy Kruger my friend wants an elaborate wedding and reception think doves being released into the sky and ice sculptures and you will know what i mean and apparantly if i were to be matron of honour then i would have to arrange wedding showers (whatever that is) and hen nights ( ok i can manage a night out on the down getting drunk and wearing pink ladie jackets) I am convinced though having had my brains smashed over the past few weeks looking a bridal magazines and pretending to get excited over debates on if and all that crap, that if I ever do want to marry someone it will be in Vegas with Elvis as the preacher.
As for the receptions, most of the time it’s bad food, followed by bad music with a few drunk relatives thrown in for spice. and people that you havent seen for years and your paying for it. personally i think its a really really bad deal I have known my friends family for years, nice normal people Abbys mum is a born again Christian and try to convert everyone she meets, but apart from that they arent that bad to be around
Joshs family on the other hand …….well his dads a raging alcholic never seen without a can of special brew or two in his hand Joshs mum is a raging snob who divorced her husband years ago and brought Josh up on her own, so of course Josh is a really mummys boy and thats probably why he has only just left home now to live with Abby after 11 years of dating. But he still goes to his mums every Sunday for sunday dinner and he goes to mums each day on his way to work and i have it on very good authority ( Abby ) that his mum still makes his packed lunch for him to take to work. WTF

So with this lovey set up in mind they decide to have a pre wedding party so that everyone on both sides of the family can get to know each other ( you would think that after being together for 11 year that there families would already know each other but there you go As I said Josh’s dad is a raging alchoholic never seen without a can special brew or tennants extra in his hands, he is also that rare type of drunk really really funny and normally falls asleep somewhere and no one can find him
At the party he managed to corner Abbys mum and gran and was trying to place bets with them on how long the marriage would last, he kept on muttering that he would give it 3months but if you like i will give you 6months on an even spread bet. ( ok i admit i found this really funny and was going to take him up on his bet as i cynically quietly agree with him but thought the better of it) I mean 11 years most marriges dont last 11 years 111
And Josh’s mum, well all she could talk about was how she hoped that Abby took her advice on the guest lists and where to hold the reception and the flower arrangments . As my friend has been planning this wedding before she even met Josh i dont think that she will take kindly to interference of any sort . This is going to be the battle of the two women in Josh’s life wouldnt like to be him poor sod