im in one right as im on tour   and i can here the guy next door  chatting on the phone  asking for a ironing board and iron so that he can iron his shirts
i can even hear that he is watching harry potter ( must  be on his laptop cos its not on tv)   and that his name is David  and he is from  Swansea and that his girlfriend is a doctor   

( not that im nosy or anything  )   

I spent a few day in the isle of man recently , stupidly i thought it would be like the channel islands sunny and bright and warm  So i took flip flops and crop  jeans and t-shirts  –  Ffuck it was just like Belfast wet windy and bloody cold  i froze to death in my stupid one and only sweater, But i did have an amazing few of the sea from my window   

But i did see the fairy bridge and made a wish ( that it would get a bit warmer)  and made a note to myself that just cos a place is a tax haven dont mean that its going to sunny and warm

VOMIT COMET

,its been a mad few months  touring  i have been to leeds york chester  glasgow birmingham, isle of man , jersey and guernsy and cardiff and a few days at home in Bristol just to round it off

it such a shame i dont get air mile but fly be ryan air and easy jet dont exactly give away airmiles

So im presently in the sunny islands of Jersey which is fab, 26 degrees today and im sat outside enjoying the sunshine before heading off to Guernsey before  going home

   If you havnt ever managed to get to the chanel islands then you are missing out on a beautifull place for a break  it  under a hour flight from the uk and  its a mixture of the old style of both  french and english traditions with small little lanes full of shops resturants and cafe and bars plus sunshine as its so close to france the weather is really really good

last time i went i flew from jersey to gurensy as  my friend Chole http://ebonyescort.co/home/     told me to  do ,  the cow i think she wanted to get rid of me or something ,  I  thought it would be a plane  you know one with big  engines  fuck  and a crew WTF  I almost fainted as i walked out to board it was i 16 seater ( i think)  known as a tri islander but whatever  its called i almost died there and then on the tarmac,   there are only two seats each behind each other and you can see everything the captain is doing ( reading the newspaper and doing his crossword)

you can see your luggage at the back and you can feel everthing every little bump jump creak and bloody chink,     its horrible i have never felt so scared in my life its literally like being on a nasty rollercoaster except 100 times worse  i think its known locally as a vomit comit which i cant totally agree  with i spent 15 mins with my eyes closed holding on to the seatbelt in terror  its a crop sprayer  but apparrently it has the best of all  safety records but i dont care next time im going by boat  

 i didnt see the spectacular views and the gorgeous coastline below  nope i just keptmy eyes shut and prayed to land in one piece 

never ever again