On my recent trip to scotland and my first visit to Glasgow i grabbed a book at the airport its looked good and not to texting so i started to read it as i was waiting for my plane
OMG it was only about a fucking serial killer in Glasgow who randomly kills people so that he can avenge his daughter death This guy wants to kill one person so he kills half a dozen so that he wont get caught i can see the point i guess i mean just kill 10 people so that you can kill the one you really want makes total sense to me

This guy randomly just picks people to kill over a two year period and get the nickname Jock The Ripper ha ha not Jack but bloody Jock as he is scottish really pisses him off big time
Totally brilliant book and one thing i will say is dont leave your business cards in those little bowls in hotels and resturants so that you can win a prize in a draw at some point you just might be next to be randomly killed and just another bit of useless trivia wayne is the most common name for a serial killer so if you dont want your kids to grow up to be a serial killer dont give him the name wayne wonder who Wayne Rooney has killed

http://newsoftheweird.com/wayne.html

Michael Wayne Adams (Virginia)
Timothy Wayne Adams (Texas)
Shannon Wayne Agofsky (Texas)
Thomas Wayne Akers (North Carolina)
Matthew Wayne Almand (Florida)
Stephen Wayne Anderson (California)*
Joshua Wayne Andrews (Virginia)
David Wayne Arisman (California)
Dennis Wayne Bagwell (Texas)*
Timothy Wayne Barnett (Alabama)
Michael Wayne Baxter (Maryland)*
Kenneth Wayne Beck (Missouri)
Gerald Wayne Bivins (Indiana)
John Wayne Blair (Tennessee)
Scott Wayne Blystone (Pennsylvania)
Donald Wayne Booth (Texas)
Elvis Wayne Botley (California)
Steven Wayne Bowman (South Carolina)
Larry Wayne Brigman (Minnesota)
Ricky Wayne Brown (Florida)
Michael Wayne Brown (Oklahoma)
Michael Wayne Brunner (Kentucky)
Edward Wayne Bryant (Oklahoma)
Dennis Wayne Bryant (Virginia)
Estell Wayne Buck (Ohio)
Bradley Wayne Cagle (Texas)
Curtis Wayne Campbell (Oklahoma)
Seth Wayne Campbell (Texas)
Darren Wayne Campbell (Oregon)
Mark Wayne Campmire (Connecticut)
Michael Wayne Carter (Indiana)
Rodger Wayne Chastain (California)*
Douglas Wayne Clark (Texas)
Ronald Wayne Clark, Jr. (Florida)
Darryl Wayne Claughton (Alberta)
Ira Wayne Cloninger (Virginia)
Timothy Wayne Coalson (Georgia)
Kevin Wayne Coffey (Texas)
David Wayne Cole (Pennsylvania)
Michael Wayne Cole (North Carolina)
Timothy Wayne Condrey (North Carolina)
Joseph Wayne Cook (North Carolina)
Billy Wayne Cope (South Carolina)
Alvin Wayne Crane (Texas)*
David Wayne Crews (Tennessee)
Donald Wayne Darling II (Alabama)
Christopher Wayne Davis (Louisiana)
Gary Wayne Davis (Kentucky)
Jerry Wayne Dean (Kentucky)
Aryan Wayne Duntley (California)
John Wayne Duvall (Oklahoma)*
Dennis Wayne Eaton (Virginia)*
Dale Wayne Eaton (Colorado)
Timothy Wayne Ebert (Texas)
Michael Wayne Eggers (Alabama)
Gary Wayne Etheridge (Texas)
Michael Wayne Farmer (Maryland)
Ellis Wayne Felker (Georgia)*
Darrell Wayne Ferguson (Ohio)*
Matthew Wayne Ferman (Ohio)
Lewis Wayne Fielder Jr. (South Carolina)
Michael Wayne Fisher (Pennsylvania)
Earl Wayne Flowers (North Carolina)
Terry Wayne Freeman (Illinois)
Percy Wayne Froman (Alabama)
Ronald Wayne Frye (North Carolina)*
Morris Wayne Givens (Alabama)
John Wayne Glover (Australia)*
Richard Wayne Godwin (Oregon)
Arthur Wayne Goodman, Jr. (Texas)
Richard Wayne Gorrie (New Zealand)
Jeffrey Wayne Gorton (Michigan)
Keith Wayne Graham (California)
Coleman Wayne Gray (Virginia)*
Charles Wayne Green (Arkansas)
Kenneth Wayne Gregory (Florida)
Christopher Wayne Gregory (Texas)
Ralph Wayne Grimes (Kentucky)
Anthony Wayne Grimm (Illinois)
Randall Wayne Hafdahl (Texas)*
Conan Wayne Hale (Oregon)
Kenneth Wayne Hall Sr. (South Carolina)
Michael Wayne Hall (Texas)
Steven Wayne Hall (Alabama)
Bradley Wayne Hamrick (Washington)
Jerald Wayne Harjo (Oklahoma)*
Emmanuel Wayne Harris (Arizona)
Robert Wayne Harris (Texas)
Nathaniel Wayne Hart (Texas)
Jerald Wayne Harvel II (Oklahoma)
Mark Wayne Hauseur (California)
Billy Wayne Hayes (Tennessee)
Carl Wayne Heath (Maine)
Brandon Wayne Hedrick (Virginia)
Michael Wayne Henry (Texas)
Rodney Wayne Henry (Kansas)
David Wayne Hickman (Texas)
Donald Wayne Holt (Maryland)
Jeremy Wayne Hopkins (Texas)
Bryant Wayne Howard (Oregon)
Christopher Wayne Hudson (Australia)
Calvin Wayne Inman (Texas)
Derek Wayne Jackson (Pennsylvania)
Kenneth Wayne Jackson (Texas)
Eric Wayne Jacobs (California)*
Allen Wayne Jenecka (Texas)*
Mark Wayne Jennings (Virginia)
Robert Wayne Jiles (New York)
Timothy Wayne Johnson (North Carolina)
Terry Wayne Johnson (Florida)
Jason Wayne Johnson (Texas)
Mark Wayne Jones (Ohio)
Tyler Wayne Justice (Texas)
Kenneth Wayne Keller (Texas)
Gary Wayne Kleypas (Kansas)
Bruce Wayne Koenig (Maryland)
Derrick Wayne Kualapai, Sr. (California)
Dudley Wayne Kyzer (Alabama)
Ronald Wayne Lail (North Carolina)
Monty Wayne Lamb (Texas)
Robert Wayne Lambert (Oklahoma)
Jonathan Wayne Larrabee (South Dakota)
Jeffrey Wayne Leaf (Oklahoma)
Bobby Wayne Ledbetter (Alabama)
Darrell Wayne Lewis (Arizona)
John Wayne Lewis (Oklahoma)
Christopher Wayne Lippard (North Carolina)
Kenny Wayne Lockwood (Texas)*
Mark Wayne Lomax (Texas)
Christopher Wayne Luttrell (Kentucky)
Darrell Wayne Maness (North Carolina)
Shelly Wayne Martin (Maryland)
Donald Wayne Martin (Texas)*
Randall Wayne Mays (Texas)
Steven Wayne McBride (Minnesota)
George Wayne McBroom (Arizona)
David Wayne McCall (Texas)
Rocky Wayne McGowan (Kentucky)
Robert Wayne McMillion (Florida)
Jason Wayne McVean (Colorado)
David Wayne Mears (Michigan)
Wesley Wayne Miller (Texas)
Jimmy Wayne Miller (Texas)
Don Wayne Moody (Texas)*
John Wayne Moore, Jr. (Missouri)
John Wayne Moses (North Carolina)
Dustin Wayne Nall (Texas)
Jack Wayne Napier (Kentucky)
Michael Wayne Nelson (Florida)
David Wayne Nelson (Alaska)*
Oral Wayne Nobles (Massachusetts)
Danny Wayne Owens (Alabama)
Bryan Wayne Padd (Arizona)
David Wayne Pallister (England)
Jeffrey Wayne Paschall (Utah)
John Wayne Peck (Virginia)
Douglas Wayne Pepper (North Carolina)
Michael Wayne Perry (Tennessee)
Jason Wayne Petershagen (Texas)
Michael Wayne Poe (Tennessee)
Curtis Wayne Pope (Texas)
Bruce Wayne Potts (Texas)
Lonnie Wayne Pursley (Texas)*
Donald Wayne Rainey (Mexico)
Gary Wayne Ray Jr. (Oklahoma)
Earl Wayne Reynolds (Virginia)
Michael Wayne Richard (Texas)*
Randy Wayne Richards (Canada)
Barry Wayne Riley (British Columbia)
Robert Wayne Rotramel (Oklahoma)
Roy Wayne Russell (Washington)
David Wayne Satterfield (Texas)
Christopher Wayne Scarber (Kentucky)
Patrick Wayne Schroeder (Nebraska)
Randy Wayne Seal (Florida)
Michael Wayne Sears (Virginia)
Timothy Wayne Shepherd (Texas)
Kenith Wayne Sherrill (Washington)
Donald Wayne Shipe (Virginia)
Dallas Wayne Shults (Tennessee)
Mark Wayne Silvers (South Carolina)
Daryl Wayne Smith (West Virginia)
Justin Wayne Smith (Texas)
David Wayne Smith (Virginia)
Richard Wayne Smith (Texas)*
Richard Wayne Snell (Arkansas)*
Ronald Wayne Spencer Jr. (Texas)
Richard Wayne Spicknall (Alabama)
Jerrell Wayne Stanley (Texas)
Randall Wayne Stevens (Illinois)
John Wayne Stockdall (Missouri)
Michael Wayne Summers (Missouri)
John Wayne Surratt Jr. (North Carolina)
Gary Wayne Sutton (Tennessee)
Bobby Wayne Swisher (Virginia)*
Charles Wayne Thomas Jr. (Texas)
Reginald Wayne Thomas (Texas)
Michael Wayne Thompson (Indiana)
John Wayne Thomson (Washington)
Andrew Wayne Toler (Texas)
Robert Wayne Vickers (Arizona)*
Russell Wayne Wagner (Maryland)*
Billy Wayne Waldrop (Alabama)*
Jerry Wayne Walker (Kentucky)
Anthony Wayne Walker (Ohio)
Jessie Wayne Walker (North Carolina)
Chadwick Wayne Wallace (Illinois)
Daniel Wayne Warfield (Virginia)
John Wayne Warrener (Colorado)
Alexander Wayne Watson Jr. (Maryland)
Louis Wayne Watters, Jr. (Texas)
Anthony Wayne Welch (Florida)
Coy Wayne Wesbrook (Texas)
Melvin Wayne White (Texas)*
Larry Wayne White (Texas)*
Timothy Wayne Widman (Pennsylvania)
Michael Wayne Williams (Virginia)
Richard Wayne Willoughby (Maryland)
Kenneth Wayne Woodfin (Virginia)
Bobby Wayne Woods (Texas)
William Wayne Wright (Texas)
Darrell Wayne Wright (Texas)
Jerry Wayne Wright (Tennessee)
Robert Wayne Wyant (Virginia)

Well i plan to add a few more place to my tours after a great year last year of touring scotland ireland and the channel island i plan to visit Norway Sweden and the isle of man
yeah i know kind of from one extreme to the other but hey i like the thought of going from the mild to the wild
So look out for me in stockholm and oslo i will be comming soon and the same for the isle of man
Of course i wont forget my friends in Ireland i have a trip planned there for march and hope to visit killarny again along with Dublin and Cork and also the channel islands hopefully sometime in early march
but for now im heading back home from highlands of Inverness to my nice warm bed in Bristol

xxxxx see you all soon

KISSES & BLOWJOBS & HAPPY NEW YEAR

IF YOUR BORED HORNEY STUCK AT HOME
DIDNT GET THE CHRISTMAS PRESENT YOU WANTED
MOTHER IN LAW IS DRIVING YOU NUTS

THEN COME & PAY ME A VISIT
HAVE SOME FUN GAMES AND EXPLORE YOUR WILD SIDE

AVAILBLE NEW YEARS EVE NEW YEARS DAY & BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY
IN BRISTOL CITY CENTER

07506 400 676

so i took the plunge and had my eyes lasered right up untill the last minute even after i had paid i was still thinking of doing a runner but the surgeon was to quick for me and before i knew it i was led flat out on the bed with a clamp on my eye and a laser with a bright red beam peering at me
it took literally a few minutes it was uncomfortable more than anything i cant really explain it not pain but not something you would want to endure for more than a few minutes
and my god real gross you can smell the laser burning away at your eyes sort of like something burning real slowly kind of like leaving a saucpan on the stove and it boils down to nothing and burns out horrible smell
that whole night my vision was blurred couldnt see much its was all cloudy and my head ached and i had to wear these lovely plastic eye pads with sticky tape on to stop me from rubbing my eyes kind of a shorter version of hannible lecture face mask
but the next morning totally unreall i could see almost perfectly and when i went for my next check up that morning the surgeon said that i had the best result that week and no longer needed a prescription and that it would get better
i cant believe it i have gone from not being able to see at all most of the time to being able to see everthing no more putting on glasses to find my glasses or losing contact lenes
i still havnt gotten used to not taking my glasses out with me and still have them in my bag
so fingers crossed when i go back for my next check up i may very well have 20/20 vision i cant belive i was so scared about doing it cos its probalby the best thing that i have done in a long time i just wish i did it earlier

so no more sucking chair legs cos i thought it was someones cock no more wondering if im talking to the right person either i can seeeeeeeeeee

luckily i managed to avoid the worst of the of the snow that has made the uk ground to a halt

however my last day in belfast was ruined by heavy heavy snow falling it was unreal it pitched really quickly within minutes the snow was a few inches deep
So it was the shit or get of the pot problem do i stay in belfast and risk getting snowed in and not get to dublin or head up to dublin earlier than earlier than planned
so thats what i did straight on the coach up to dublin city center and nice and warm im my D1 apartments
Its freezing in dublin totally freezing so if you need warming up guys give me a call im only here for today and tomorrow (tuesday) and then off to cork for 10 nights weather permitting
so give me a call to book

so its been a strange few weeks an unexpected windfall has resulted in me thinking of having my eyes lasered im so short sighted its surprising that on some occassions i havent tried to suck the chair leg in the room rather than your dick (LOL) so as i have this rather nice windfull and dont have to allocate it to anything in particular laser eye surgery was first on my hit list
so i have over the past few weeks had three consultations
all came back with the same results
Seriously short sighted – im minus 8 and minus 7.5 the scale only goes up to 10 so that how bad i am )
Scar on on eye
dry eyes need drops
but apparently apart from that im my eyes are healthy
So i have paid a deposit and im due to get this lasering of my eyes done just before christmas and sods law just as i did this – the bloody dail mail has had a write up on the dangers of laser surgery

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1334246/Tempted-laser-eye-surgery-Its-risks.html

so now im in between two minds do i laser or not see or not see
i shall have to wait and SEEEEEEEEEE Or maybe not Seeeeeeeeeeee

when in inverness last month i bought a gift set of perfume and shower gel my treat to myself
stupidly though i didnt pack it in my suitcase and thought i would carry it on with me and my other hand luggage
sadly this was not to be the stazi at the airport told me that i had to throw it away not the perfume thank god as it was under 100ml but the really nice shower gel had to be thrown in the bin im sure they kept it for themselves it was brand new still in the box fuckers !!!!!

i swear next time i travel im going to take a large empty bottle of perfume and im going to pee in it and then when they say that i have to hand it ove i moan and groan but will do sadly hand it over nd really hope that some nasty airport security spray it on themselves
eau du paris pee pee im going to call it …… .the new perfume that reminds you of me

Right im going to have a rant now

i have been reading the thread on EI about fake photo and girls so here is my feeling about it
Im sick and tired of skanky schemming low life cheap ass escorts stealing my photos that are mine and putting them on website and escort directorys and then advertising services that i dont offer

I put a lot of thought and effort and my bloody money into my photos and to have these in my opinion scanky bitches saying that those photos are them god makes my blood boil

I get at least two or three emails a week from clients other escort and webmasters telling me that my pictures are being used here there and everywhere
the lastest skanky fuckers is a escort agency in Birmingham which is at best around 90 mins from where i live in Bristol saying that im availble i mean at least pick a place that is not in the same bloody country

so far i have found my photos being advertisied in holland canada australia germany france leeds nottingham in the past few months all while i have been either here in Ireland or at home in Bristol or on holiday

What am i, do i have a twin (an evil one at that i bet) do i have a doppleganger and can be in two places in once have i been secretly cloned like dolly the bloody cow
Im in fucking ireland at the moment not Birmingham in fact the only time i was in Birmingham was when i went to see the Black Eyed Peas and Rhianna in May this year but thats another story

I have even had one silly cow steal my pictures and put them on here Escort Ireland saying she was me when i was in Cardiff being the 19th hole for the Ryder cup
Big thanks to all of you who pointed this out to me as well much appreciated guys and ladies

but my main rant is because when i contacted this so called escort agency in birmingham asking them to remove my pictures she had the nerve to question me if they were really my photos if i could have reached through the phone at that point i would have strangled the silly cow

are they mine are they fucking mine ….. am i bloody sure it’s me and they are my photos

Well duh yes i think so i mean it was me who got fucking soaking wet i think i can regonise my own garden bedroom and bloody living room where i had the photos photos taken
and i sure as hell remember staying in the fab hotel du vin to have photos taken still feeling the pain of the hotel bill of that photo shot
so to all those lazy ass escort who cant be bothered to get photos taken and steal other girls leave mine alone its rude its ignorant and if your going to steal photos at least steal them from someone who is as distinctive and people will recognise
Im copy writing all my pictures now but sadly some are on website that i cant do that to

rant over

These are my planned tours for the next few months if you would like to see me in any of these places please give me a call or send me a email
TOURS 2010 – 2011
BRISTOL 16TH NOV 29TH NOV

CARDIFF 26TH & 27TH NOV WALES V NEW ZEALAND

IRELAND 30TH DEC 19TH DEC

BRISTOL 20TH 3RD JAN

NOT AVAILABLE UNTIL THE FIRST WEEK OF FEBRUARY

Im following the Rugby this year and next year in Wales so if you want to add some fun to the big matches give me a call

I will be in Cardiff on 26th & 27TH November for the Wales V New Zealand Game
i will also be in Cardiff for the England v Wales Game in Feb and the Wale V Ireland Game In March staying at a luxury city center hotel in Cardiff

Thoughts of the day
For the England V Wale Match it was said before ……
Look what these bastards have done to Wales. They’ve taken our coal, our water, our steel. They buy our houses and they only live in them for a fortnight every 12 months. What have they given us? Absolutely nothing. We’ve been exploited, raped, controlled and punished by the English – and that’s who you are playing this afternoon.

The relationship between the Welsh and the English is based on trust and understanding. They don’t trust us and we don’t understand them.
Dudley Wood

“Don’t ask me about “The job of Welsh coach is like a minor part in a Quentin Tarantino film: you stagger on, you hallucinate, nobody seems to understand a word you say, you throw up, you get shot. Poor old Kevin Bowring has come up through the coaching structure so he knows what it takes … 15 more players than Wales have at present.” – Mark Reason Total Sport (1996

about emotions in the Welsh dressing room. I’m someone who cries when he watches Little House on the Prairie.” – Robert Norster (1994)

Thought of the day For the Wales V Ireland Match …….
Rugby is a good occasion for keeping thirty bullies far from the center of the city.
Oscar Wilde

On the Munster pack: “Mothers keep their photo on the mantelpiece to stop the kids going too near the fire.” – Jim Noilly, BBC TV (1995)

And for all the other games ………..
Rugby is a game for the mentally deficient… That is why it was invented by the British. Who else but an Englishman could invent an oval ball?
Peter Cook

“The advantage law is the best law in rugby, because it lets you ignore all the others for the good of the game.” – Derek Robinson

“Beer and Rugby are more or less synonymous.” – Chris Laidlaw

“The pub is as much a part of rugby as is the playing field.” – John Dickenson

well after last week weekend in cardiff for the Ryder cup i met some wonderfull lovely guys but i can honestly say that Golf clothes are crap
I have never seen so many pringle jumpers and pale yellow and brown check hideous trousers i mean if Golf is an expensive game so why oh why is the clothes so fucking horrible and dont even get me started on Golf shoes ……..
My eyes are hurting after being subjected to such awful clothes
So some questions to golfers
Do you check the mirrors before you go out and say hey i look cool in my pink and grey pringle sweater and stripy brown ( with yellow flecks) trouser
what dose your wife /other half say do you change at the club cos im sure no women would let her other half go out dressed like Dustin Hoffan from Rain Man on a good day
do you check your friends clothing and think where can i get that hideous shirt – trousers -shoes jackets ect
what do you wear when your not golfing
what is your excuse for wearing such awfull clothes

OK i admit to not being a designer clad person from head to to but even i know the blue and green should never be seen let alone yellow and brown
cant we get some D&G golf clothes going on here Versace or even Victoria Beckham could probably design some cool stuff you knowthings that are colour co -ordinated and dont blind anyone within 100 miile radius

To me golf is just another four letter word like ….. and its like kind of like a nice country walk which is totally fucking spoiled doging low flying balls but enough said before i start ranting even more about clothes all im asking for is for some really cool fashion designer to design some decent golf clothes
and VB if your reading design some cool stuff it will add millions to you bank balance
love Paris

THE RYDER CUP THIS WEEKEND GUYS IM
IM THE 19TH HOLE
My knowledge of Golf is minimal but my expertise in blowjobs isnt

A husband and wife were golfing when suddenly the woman asked, “Honey, if I died would you get married again?”

The man said, “No dear.”

The woman said, “I’m sure you would.”

So the man said, “Okay, I would”

Then the woman asked, “Would you let her sleep in our bed?”

And the man replied, “Ya, I guess so.”

Then the woman asked, “Would you let her use my golf clubs?”

And the man replied, “No, she’s left handed.”

The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can’t see him laughing.
~ Phyllis Diller

Golf is a game where the ball always lies poorly and the player always lies well.
~ Anonymous

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
~ Thomas Mulligan

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
~ Bruce Lansky

Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
~ Sam Snead

The most important shot in golf is the next one.
~ Ben Hogan

The best advice I can give for playing a ball out of water is – don’t.
~ Tony Lema

That putt had more breaks than a government job.
~ Brian Weis

I can airmail the golf ball, but sometimes I don’t put the right address on it.
~ Jim Dent

Never break your putter and your driver in the same round or you’re dead.
~ Tommy Bolt

The older I get, the better I used to be.
~ Lee Trevino

Keep close count of your nickels and dimes, stay away from whiskey, and never concede a putt.
~ Sam Snead

Concentration comes out of a combination of confidence and hunger.
~ Arnold Palmer

Golf’s three ugliest words: still your shot.
~ Dave Marr

A routine is not a routine if you have to think about it.
~ Davis Love Jr.

Through the ball we are all the same. We just have different ways of getting it there.
~ Charles Coody

The golf swing is like a suitcase into which we are trying to pack one too many things.
~ John Updike

The older you get the stronger the wind gets… and it’s always in your face.
~ Jack Nicklaus

Golf is 20 percent talent and 80 percent management.
~ Ben Hogan

Never bet with anyone you meet on the first tee who has a deep suntan, a 1-iron in his bag, and squinty eyes.
~ Dave Marr

This is a game of misses. The guy who misses the best is going to win.
~ Ben Hogan

A good one iron shot is about as easy to come by as an understanding wife.
~ Dan Jenkins

I never learned anything from a match that I won.
~ Bobby Jones

Golf is a better game played downhill.
~ Jack Nicklaus

The more you play it the less you know about it.
~ Patty Berg

I went to play golf and tried to shoot my age, but I shot my weight instead.
~ Bob Hope

I’m about five inches from being an outstanding golfer. That’s the distance my left ear is from my right.
~ Ben Crenshaw

One thing about golf is you don’t know why you play bad and why you play good.
~ George Archer

It takes hundreds of good golf shots to gain confidence, but only one bad one to lose it.
~ Jack Nicklaus

Concentrate on hitting the green. The cup will come to you.
~ Cary Middlecoff

Missing a short putt does not mean you have to hit your next drive out of bounds.
~ Henry Cotton

The proper score for a businessman golfer is 90. If he is better than that he is neglecting his business. If he’s worse, he’s neglecting his golf.
~ St Andrews Rotary Club Member

Baseball reveals character; golf exposes it.
~ Ernie Banks

Nothing goes down slower than a golf handicap.
~ Bobby Nichols

Real golfers, no matter what the provocation, never strike a caddie with the driver. The sand wedge is far more effective.
~ Huxtable Pippey

The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top.
~ Pete Dye

My golf is improving. Yesterday I hit the ball in one!
~ Jane Swan

You know you’re on the Senior Tour when your back goes out more than you do.
~ Bob Bruce

There are three roads to ruin; women, gambling, and golf. The most pleasant is with women, the quickest is with gambling, but the surest is with golf.
~ Andrew Perry

Golf is just a game – and an idiotic game most of the time.
~ Mark Calcavecchia

Talking to a golf ball won’t do you any good, unless you do it while your opponent is teeing off.
~ Bruce Lansky

A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course.
~ Dr Bob Rotella

Golf is played by twenty million mature American men whose wives think they are out having fun.
~ Jim Bishop

I tried real hard to play golf, and I was so bad at it they would have to check me for ticks at the end of the round because I’d spent about half the day in the woods.
~ Jeff Foxworthy

The woods are full of long drivers.
~ Harvey Penick

When the ducks are walking, you know it is too windy to be playing golf.
~ Dave Stockton

If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
~ Thomas Mulligan

Someone once told me that there is more to life than golf. I think it was my ex-wife.
~ Bruce Lansky

Of all the hazards, fear is the worst.
~ Sam Snead

A golfer has to train his swing on the practice tee, then trust it on the course.
~ Dr Bob Rotella

So i have just finnished my week long tour of the sunny channel islands and freezing inverness both are lovely places but its going from one extreme to the other from glourious sunshine to cold and wet weather
Inverness was so cold i even wore my socks to bed something i havnt done since i was s little kid
but i had a great time and now its time for my next trip which is to Cardiff this week for the Ryder cup
So for all you Golf fans who are heading this way dont forget me i can be your 19th Hole after the game is finnished
if you need refreshing cheering up or just some me time them you know what you need to do just call 07506 400 676 and then relax for the ultimate hole in one

i dont think i have ever slept so much in my life . After arriving back home on monday after my holiday i went straigh to bed and slept from 11am till 6pm monday then on then back to bed at midnight and slept till 6pm tuesday the following day and then bed again on tuesday and slept till 4pm wednesday and i still felt tired so off to bed again on wednesday and slept till 10am thursday and its only now that i feel human
oh well of to bed again now so that im up bright an early on friday

Thats it guys im away now untill the end of the September

I will be back in Bristol 16th & 17th September for just the two days and then visting the Channel Islands and Inverness so please give me a call if you want to see me
I will also be in Cardiff City Center on the 30th September for a few nights when the Ryder Cup on so if you want to get a hole in one give me a call
After that i will be back home to Bristol on Mon 4th October for the rest of October and returning to Ireland for most of November and December with return visit to Bristol in between

Guys Im finally comimg over the Bridge to Wales for the weekend. So if your bored horny and stressed or just a normal bloke who wants some fun and games thenb give me a call to book I will be in Cardiff from 4 pm on Friday and from 10am till late on Saturday
I will have lots of toys for me and you and naughty uniforms as well

Love and Kisses Paris

Well after several months of touring and whoring and having a brilliant time In Ireland and the Channel Islands and other places in the uk . I am finally back home to Bristol and the Southwest at last. Each time i plan to come back home somewhere else beckons me and i just dont manage to get home to Bristol to be availble

I started touring last July begining with london and then ventured further afield to Ireland and have been touring more or less ever since mainly to Ireland but with a few amazing trips to the channel island as well
I have met some fabulous people from touring and been to some lovely places as well i have been to Ireland so much i think im going to take up residency or start talking with an Irish accent

Like lots of other got stuck with the infamous ash cloud twice and had to spend an extra week in Ireland finnally getting home on the Cork Swansea ferry and got stuck in Gurnsey when its happend again and once again coming home on the ferry
I have become and expert at getting cheap flights with ryan air and beating there system for charging you for fucking breathing and just being alive – i have used the train and buses in ireland going across from the north to the south which is both scary and fun i have become an expert on reading between the line of hotel and apartment reviews working out if they are suitable for touring and whoring

But the biggest surprise of touring goes to all the other escort who athough i havent met but have spoken to on the phone and via the net many time in the past year You have been total angels in a business that is often thought of as shady and immoral and wrong but i will take shady and immoral over any thing else if there are women like yourself

so a big thanks to all the ladies on

http://www.albaladies.com

http://www.escort-ireland.com/home.html

http://www.escortselina.co.uk/index.php

http://www.ebonyrenee.com/

People often say or belive that escort wont help other escort but i have never had that problem and any escort that i have asked for information has been happy to help and likewise without us willing to help each other none of us would be able to tour sucessfully and stay stafe
so im back home to Bristol and here are my dates

I WILL BE AVAILBLE ON MONDAY 26TH JULY FOR 1DAY ONLY IN BRISTOL
Then I will be availble on Friday 6th August Onwards In Bristol City Center and i will be availible until Saturday 21st August and wont be back untill September 17th for a week before a trip to scotland

I will also be visiting Cardiff during this time for a few nights probably on the weekends of the 13th so please check my website for more confirmed details

I will be touring Scotland in September Visiting Inverness Dundee Edinburgh & Glasgow and Irleand November December

i have more tours planned so if you would like me to visit an area if i get enough enquiries i will be happy to consider a tour

love hugs and kisses Paris B
OFFICIALLY A TOURING AND WHORING ESCORT

me and my roomies have devised a rather elegant way of getting extra food
the other ladies or dropping like flies and the chef is not always updated so we set an extra place on our table and get an extra plate of food ok now i know an extra bowl of porride or granola may not seem like a lot but when your starving tired and aching every little counts

So will i finish boot camp – will i manage the 20 k 1000 ft above sea level final hike or will i catch the nearest horse and ride of home
Will i get over the no soup or desert can i hide from the dreaded army stretcher
im off to bed now but i will finnish this of over the weekend

so tonight was my strop my breaking point where i wanted to go home

we always got soup before we had our evening meal always alway always got soup
tonight after a hard day i sit down expecting soup but no soup but the spoon is on the table
so maybe we are getting desert yes something sweet nice maybe apple pie ( well i can dream)
so after eating dinner i am happily awaiting my dessert dreaming of something sweet
nothing happen
So where is the sweet we had no soup i want my sweet the spoon is there where is my sweet
I HAVE BEEN UP SINCE 5 AM DOING AROUND 12 HOURS EXERCISE I WANT EITHER SOUP OR A DESSERT WHERE IS IT I HAVE A SPOON I WANT MY SOUP OR DESSERT
Our lovely chef has forgotton to do it – i mean how the fuck do you forget to make soup or dessert how can something so simple almost start a riot
you have 15 hungry women who havent had there soup thinking of evil things to do with there spoons
the staff realise that there could easliy be a mini riot and wisley get us out of the dinning room and on to our evening walk 2 hour of walking should re install normalacy they hope
but we bitch and moan so much about the soup or rather the lack of it they pacify us with half a fucking banna each
this is my moment where i burst into tears and really want to go home i feel ashamed that just a simple soup has broken my back where nothing else could

Some of us are constipated and craving caffeine luckily i stoped drinking caffeine two weeks before i went so i didnt suffer to badly but some of women were like junkies comming of crack, – headaches, stomach cramps, throwing up if anyone didnt know that we were on a boot camp we could have easily passed for a place for recovering addicts

at breakfast we are subjected to major interogation someone has come down in the middle of night and had a midnight feast on laughably the staff secret stash of chocolate muffins
Muffins soup baked beans and tortilla wraps are eaten in the middle of the night we all deny it so are punished with the strecher run

We are physically and mentally exhausted and totally mind fucked had they given us some AK 47s and told us to go off and fight in Iraq im sure that we would have happily toddled off to do some damage
its more running boxing running boxing battle pt streaching and a 3 hour hike tonight