Moving on from my post on the  perfect escort here is another post that  i found amusing  this is belived to be the  mild version of what is often said  this is taken from the ever popular
What Some Girls/ Establisments Say And What They Really Mean

The Guide For Newbies

“We open at 11.00” – the woman with the keys arrives at 11.15 and the masseuses get in at noon.

“Last massage is at 8.00” – last massage is at 7.15; we lock up at 7.45

“she’s a BBW” – she’s fat

she is booked up – Fuck knows where she is, but if you find her please tell her to call

“she’s a cuddly BBW” – she’s clinically obese

“she’s a mature 40 year old!” – she’s over 50

“she’s a mature 50 year old” -she’s at the Post Office cashing her pension

“today we have Sasha, Louise will be in shortly” – we’ve rung Louise’s home and mobile, we’ve no bloody idea where she is.

“Sasha and Louise do a great two-girl” – that’s £20 extra

“with a great girl-on-girl lesbian show” – and that’s £40 extra

“free refreshments” – broken biscuit assortment from Lidl”a choice of drink” – tea or coffee but we’ve run out of milk/sugar

“she’s very outgoing” – she’s on drugs

“Her statistics are 36-24-36” – that’s just round her leg

“she’s 34d” – she’s 36c (reduce measurement by 2 and cup size by 1 in all descriptions.

“she’ll be available shortly” – at least an hour’s wait

“she’s available now” -she’s be in the room with someone else when you get here (this applies even when you’re ringing from outside

“she’s new” – she has no idea what she’s doing

“she’s popular” – you’ll never get an appointment ever

“she’s going to be really popular” -she looks awful no-one would pick her out of choice

“Toiletries provided” – Lidl pine shower gel

clean towels  redreid in the tumbe dryer

“Superior showers” – we’ve cleaned the mould off the wall/curtains

“valuables are left at your own risk” – the customers are theives and will nick anything you leave about

“lockers” – the masseuses are thieves and have duplicate keys

“all inclusive charge” – see 2 girl as above

“special water-sports service” – the toilet is blocked and the girls are pissing in the showers