Is anyone else this clumsy and stupid

So has anyone else been this bloody stupid or unlucky 

Just before Christmas on Christmas Eve I was sat in my flat multitasking ie giving blowjobs and wrapping up Christmas presents .
I had a bottle of water on the side that i hit over so I thought i better move my phones so that I don’t get water on them .
So I put them on the floor while thinking to myself I better not stand on my phones . As I was thinking this to myself what did I do but fucking stand on not 1 but 2 bloody iPhones .
Crushed them to pieces totally fucked up beyond recognition.
Cue a rush to my local phone repair shop to get them repaired on Christmas Eve
Unfortunately the iPhone five was unrepairable do I had to buy a new one and my iPhone 6s needed a new screen .So several hundred pounds later Im back in business .

So today Im sat down watching of all things on net flix Dirty Bloody Harry and I ceremoniously manage to drop my replaced iPhone 5 into my glass of Orange juice .

I thought OJ was good for you but its certainly not the case for me
At the moment it’s still working but im wondering how long it will take to stop working ( fingers crossed )

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